Dear Pewtermane, I'm a brittlehorn just like you, but my horn doesn't seem to shine as brightly as all of the other brittlehorns. In fact, it hardly shines at all. I've tried meditating on it, but the answer just isn't coming. I have cleaned it, polished it, asked a female brazzle if she thought my ancestors might've had this problem, asked a budding herbalist named Betony...Nothing works! Is there some sort of magical ointment that I haven't yet tried, some special incantation? Please help, the other young brittlehorns are teasing me!Yours,Featherhoof.
Hiya Featherhoof - I'm Lilywithers, and I'm doing Pewtermane's column while he meditates on the nature of an itch. Your mates are seriously out of touch - horns that don't shine are really cool this season. I suggest you muddy-up your hooves to match, and tell them all to go roll in a dunghill!
Cheers, Lilywithers
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