My hen's chick, Rockfoot, has developed a taste for painting her talons
and listening to screech songs. This is annoying because I can can't teach her
Mathematics! I know she is a female, but still, she should know about how to solve an algebraic expression by now! How can I get her intrested in Maths?
Yours, Lightningwing the Brazzle.
Dear Lightningwing,
Starvation works quite well. Shackle her to a perching rock,
but use a long chain so that she can access a dirtboard. Then set her a number
of problems, but don’t feed her until she’s learned to solve them all. You will
need to explain things every so often, otherwise she’ll waste away altogether.
If you want something a bit less drastic you could try replacing her talon lacquer
with super-treacle, and getting her to calculate a spell to counter it.
Yours, Pewtermane
