Saturday, 24 May 2008

Lilywithers advises...

Dear Lilywithers,
I'm a carrionwing, and my absolute FAVE hobby is screeching in thunderstorms.You want to hear my problem? One word: TONSILITIS! Help!

Hiya, Stormcrow.
Whatever you do, don't be tempted to try one of Snakeweed's remedies. Tripleheads recommend pukeberry sauce as a cure for just about everything, but I think you should just shut up for a bit.
Cheers, Lilywithers

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Back again!

The hot sunny weather has been good news for snakes. I haven't seen anything of the adders this year yet, but I watched a grass snake hunting for over an hour. It didn't catch anything, though.

Another problem for Lilywithers

Dear Lilywithers, I'm a female brazzle. I'm only young, so my historian skills aren't amazing, but I am a bit of a perfectionist. I had spent ages using my father's dirtboard to write out historical facts about spells and things like that, and when I had finished I showed my father. It was the first big fact page I had ever written so my he gave me a big celebration. I was so proud of myself that I read through it all again, and I spotted a MISTAKE!!! It was terrible! Now I'm checking my work through so much that I'm working really slowly... I know it's not much, but I get a panic attack every time I think that I've done something wrong...PLEASE HELP ME!!Thunderwing

Hi Thunderwing, You need to learn to chill out. Try having a dust bath. Dirt boards have other uses too, you know!
Cheers, Lilywithers

Thursday, 8 May 2008

The Worrit - a poem

Different ears,
a sausage tongue
When you fall down laughing
you know it has won.

One eye green
one eye yellow
full of hilarity
that can kill a fellow.

Erica Gardner
Almost Twelve (but not quite)
Michigan, U.S.A.

A problem for Lilywithers

Dear Pewtermane, I'm a brittlehorn just like you, but my horn doesn't seem to shine as brightly as all of the other brittlehorns. In fact, it hardly shines at all. I've tried meditating on it, but the answer just isn't coming. I have cleaned it, polished it, asked a female brazzle if she thought my ancestors might've had this problem, asked a budding herbalist named Betony...Nothing works! Is there some sort of magical ointment that I haven't yet tried, some special incantation? Please help, the other young brittlehorns are teasing me!Yours,Featherhoof.

Hiya Featherhoof - I'm Lilywithers, and I'm doing Pewtermane's column while he meditates on the nature of an itch. Your mates are seriously out of touch - horns that don't shine are really cool this season. I suggest you muddy-up your hooves to match, and tell them all to go roll in a dunghill!

Cheers, Lilywithers